Laird Cregar

Laird at his heaviest---I think. He loathed being a character actor and was trying to break into leading man roles. He thought losing weight could achieve this. He did lose weight and it was evident on his last film Hangover Square--what wasn't as obvious was he was abusing speed for the weight loss. This affected his heart and mood. He argued with the director of the film John Brahm apparantly toward the end of his life . Also director of Cregar's famous film, "The Lodger." Cregar had a heart attack and died. Another part of his body image complex was his inner conflict about being a homosexual. I wish there was a biography of Laird Cregar. The best information I get is the commentary on The DVD's I can't imagine where these historians are getting info. about Cregar. There is a glaring absence of biographical material on the man

I feel like Mina in 51 Birch Street

My mind wandered a lot. My mind wanders a lot. Particularly on marijuana. Mind seems to speed up and every thought gives birth to a new thought and on and on and on. It's like the world of art and ideas and creating, is so exciting and passion filled. God I sobbed for that woman in 51 Birch Street. She was who the Feminine Mystique was about. She now has minor fame from the film. But she could still get out at night if she were alive. But since she passed this is not an issue, however her son filmmaker Doug Block and the rest of his family do have 15 minutes worth of fame.

Female Sensibility, Sense and Sensibility, female POV

What do I mean by the female sensibility? I first paid attention to the word in relation to Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. The movie of course with Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet; directed by Ang Lee. It is akin to the word POV for starters.
Teasing, prolonging, yearning, the building of sexual tension, is more intrinsically female. More women find these types of things erotic than women who do not. I think it is more of the female sensibility to want "romance" in the erotic stories they read or films they watch. Not necessarily referring to sappy- sighing- romantic- sentimental bullshit here. But that is how the term Romance has come to be disparaged. Somehow it is not manly.

There is an enormous variety of erotic novels for women on the market. Some are way into S&M or anal sex. Some have only chaste romance and marriage. So obviously women in our society have very many many levels of what expresses thier sexuality or artistry. However I feel that what I said above basically holds true. If more women were honest with themselves, like I was eventually, one can see that there is nothing inferior or inherently wrong with the feminine or female sensibility. When it comes to not being oriented to jumping in the bed and fucking upon first meeting some one, most women are not really into that, some sure, most not. What is inferior about that?

Then to go beyond that, as an adult I realize that those moments of orgasmic bliss are only fleeting. It is a transcendent experience. It provides the same euphoria as a mood/mind altering drug. In fact Orgasm works very much like a drug. You can certainly get addicted to its feeling.

No flights in or out of Europe in the Age of Technology, digital tech. and such...

MOther Nature is bringing down technology. And modern day transportation is brought to its knees. Ponder that baby.