Hillary Swank, Diane Lane, Reality Shows and Reality

HIlary Swank can't seem to get decent roles between her Oscar winning performance roles.

Did Diane Lane do that salacious internet porn picture detective gritty unglamorous role to have an "assured" box office hit?
Does Ms. Swank feel pressure to have a box office hit?

Prostitutes do have to have sex with "gross" guys. That is the inhibiting factor as to why more women don't charge men--Mr Super Freakonomics.

Documentary: go to cattle call auditions. Docu. on out of work and working actors auditioning Reality Shows. Reality shows are now viable jobs for actors. Paritcularly if it is a reality show on struggling actors. Thier life of auditions and up and downs would be employment.

It an authentic Fake. Not the fake fake but the real fake. Is it an authentic fake. Is this the fake?--no it's the fake fake this is the real fake.

I feel like Mina in 51 Birch Street

My mind wandered a lot. My mind wanders a lot. Particularly on marijuana. Mind seems to speed up and every thought gives birth to a new thought and on and on and on. It's like the world of art and ideas and creating, is so exciting and passion filled. God I sobbed for that woman in 51 Birch Street. She was who the Feminine Mystique was about. She now has minor fame from the film. But she could still get out at night if she were alive. But since she passed this is not an issue, however her son filmmaker Doug Block and the rest of his family do have 15 minutes worth of fame.

No flights in or out of Europe in the Age of Technology, digital tech. and such...

MOther Nature is bringing down technology. And modern day transportation is brought to its knees. Ponder that baby.

Jounal Entry, middle age angst, Joan Crawford, Rambling

the drudgery of cleaning this house is maddening, depressing, exasperated
. People's lives were taken up with tasks they were allotted to do and then they died. That may be most of human history. You have to be somewhat affluent to pursue art these days. Still, many are starving artists like myself.
Joan Crawford in Sudden Fear is what I am watching now. With Jack Palance and Gloria Grahme. 1952. Joan looks as masculine as she did in The Damned don't cry. She looked that way in most of her later films. Yet her characters acted feminine. By getting made fools of for love. Mildred Pierce, The Damned don't cry and Sudden Fear. She plays a woman "making it on her own accord" in all three films as well.
And Jack is just plain ugly. He must have always played bad guys.

This symbolizes the perfect metaphor for what is wrong with my life right now

I was all set to use my tape recorder this morning because I have 7 observations on the Tiger Woods situation. When I saw that my tape recorder wasn't there, I was shocked as I felt certain I knew had put it there, next to my Mac, ready for transcribing my scintillating ideas. I quickly became frustrated with the larger picture of the disarray and disorganization of my life. I felt very very upset because all kinds of great stuff was on it screenplay dialog scene outlines, comparison of Sam Wagstaff, Andy Warhol, Charles Phoenix and ME! I got a hit in my mind that it might be where Jett was playing with a castle set. If I do find it here", I said to myself, "that tells me my gut reactions , intuition, deeper sense perception is certainly something I can rely on. My eye happened to catch the tape under Ben's bed. When I looked closer I could see the tape all pulled out, the tape recorder laying close by. That is what this is a picture of.
I know it is not literally true, but it is metaphorically true, and a perfect symbol of: Jett and my having the 4th child is sabotaging my last gasp last grasp at a meaningful creative passionate life.

MAC, angst

Gah! The thing about love/lust is the mystique of the other person. The novelty is one part. The stage where you feel passionate and infatuated.
When you are living with someone for 15 years plus you just don't feel that way anymore. Well most people don't some do. Therefore--a couple MUST decide if they want to remain together and how to deal with n the everyday grind of living together wehn the sparks have died down after the passage of time which has GOT to be inevitable. I think that you can stay with someone for many years or even a lifetime, but you must make a concious decision to do so. And face the fact that sex just isn't as exciting, nor is the person, as it was in the beginning of the relationship/romance.

The thoughts about my own mortality have never affected me in this way before. That is why I know it is a so-called middle age crisis I am experiencing. Everyone is born and everyone will die. That is the proverbial bottom line of human existence. That is the one thing we all have in common.
that is why the eternal youth factor in vampires is so popular withs now. And eternal youth, eternal sexual attraction and immortality.