Friday, September 18, 2009
My brain is wading though honey
You know the description of walking through honey, how it feels your physical energy is being dragged on, if your body were to walk through honey-- I feel that way in my head. when I get up from these naps and I have usually drank too much wine the night before. And I am currently medicating my depression with wine and marijuana. I take nap every afternoon which is to make up for all the sleep lost when I had the babies. I am always beginner. When i had the babies I wanted to be good at something. I had never been good at anything my whole goddamned life. Now it is overwhelming to me. And my brain is going into total confusion and disorganization, total mental disorganization And I am falling into disassociation with reality. This is my ramble . It is my morning pages thing. Remember that woman who was married to Matin Scorcese suggests you do stream of consciousness free flow writing every morning, where you don't stop with pen to paper. But I think computer is OK And it becomes a meditation and I way to tap into the creativity. I just want to feel ALIVE I think that is what we all want. And I am quickly turning into a neglectful Mother.
Posted by Aitch at 1:39 PM