Suburban Angst, Cultural Musings, Scene Outlines and Neurotic Rambling by Aitch Slavic.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Scintillating is such a great word.
I think my writing on message boards is scintillating. I am a scintillating person. But I may as well be writing anonymously as I am here on my Personal Blog. Because no one ever responds to me. Occasionally they do. But not often, it is rare. This makes me feel like a meaningless, insignificant, anonymous blob. I am Queen of the universe to my sons. And that was enough for a while. But alas, I now need some kind of wordly recognition. Which seems to be very hard to come by for me. I have felt that way my whole life and I continue to feel this way as middle age creeps in and I enter the world of the internet. Maybe it is a script I have bought into. Maybe I am buying into my own worn out low self-worth script even as I am shocked to see that others don't find my scintillating personality scorching across the computer screen. I guess I should just post for my own self, my own need to improve my writing skills and become even more scintillating writer. Just do it for myself, not others approval.
Labels:
angst,
depression,
MIddle age crisis
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